Draft Feedback

Dale
Research and Planning - Level 4
Practical Draft Level - Low Level 3

Tom
Research and Planning - Level 3
Practical Draft Level - Low Level 3

"Meaning isn't obvious. Use more than one piece of music. Tom must look like he's in danger. Get rid of the pizza cutter. Make sure you do all the things you say you will (in your blog post)."

In order to better show the chain of events in the opening, we've decided to go from the shot of the feet being dragged to a shot of the feet of the man in the chair before panning up to his face and continuing on as usual. In order to also make him look like he's in danger, we'll be using face paints to make him look like his face is bruised, along with creating a wound on him from the previously heard gunshot.

To make sure we use more than one piece of music, a totally understandable decision, as well as make sure it goes along with the pace of the opening, we've decided to choose a piece to be put over the opening shot of the sky (a shot that that will be reduced in length as well) that is slower in pace than the main music, and cutting it at the point of the gunshot.

Whilst we were originally going to have some levels of humour in the opening, clearly the use of the pizza cutter was just too much for the teachers to handle, so we'll have to take it out for their sake, but we'll be ever so sad to see it go. The final shot of the microwave will also be cut, as well as the shot of the baking tray with the leg.

We've also finally decided on what to put on the television - what will be on the television is a shot of the room from another angle done in the perspective of a video camera, a suggestion put forward by Ms Elger to help portray the killer in a sort of egotistical light that is hinted at by the music and the formal clothing.

Also, some other changes have been made (or are being worked on), such as the floor being covered in newspapers for the blood to fall on (linking to a new shot, where instead of having the man's throat slit on camera, it's shown slightly off screen whilst a headline of a newspapers is focused on by the camera),that the man will be bound to the chair with cling film, that the shot of the baking tray will be rid of completely, the iPod speakers will be replaced by either a faux record player or a slightly old stereo, etcetera.